The Good, The Bad and Please Kill Me (Part One)

The Good and The Bad...

Over the last few days, I have experienced a new level of disappointment cloaked within a milestone of my newborn’s life. I returned home from rehearsal the other night at the “normal” hour of 1am. I promptly went to sleep, and as a matter of course, was pulled from my slumber by Jackson’s wail. Normally, when I wake for the first changing and feeding, it’s approximately 3am. On this particular occasion the red digits in the black night screamed 5:30am. Jackson had slept from 9ish, which meant he was asleep approximately 8 hours, or “THROUGH THE NIGHT!”

I could hardly contain myself. “Nicole, wake up, wake up...It’s 5:30...He slept through the night!!! Do we have Champagne? Where can we get some?” But then it hit me. My baby slept through the night...but I didn’t. I only slept about 4 hours. This is a major dilemma. If I want to sleep through the night, I must go to bed at 9pm. “Not likely,” I thought, and suddenly was forced to come to terms with the fact that I will not sleep 8 consecutive hours again for about five to ten years.

I suppose that this realization is not terrible since Nicole and I decided to have children early in our marriage. Many men in their early 30’s and women in their mid-20’s are still out in the field, looking for love, working all day, partying at night, and surviving on little sleep. We just have to transfer what’s left of our energy into Jackson rather than a 3am bar scene. This leads to my next great insight. Sleep is overrated and the grass is always greener.

Last night, I went to bed at 1am. I woke up for my flight to Austin, TX at 6:30. Five and a half hours of deep REM deliciousness. When I woke up, I felt groggy as usual, and remembered that when I used to get 8 hours of sleep I was equally schlepish. Further, this morning when I woke up, there was no going back to sleep. I looked at the clock and thought, “That’s it? No going back to sleep?” For the first time, I actually missed waking up 3 or 5 times during the night. I felt gipped because the night went so fast. If this isn’t the craziest shit in the world, I don’t know what is. It all comes down to the grass always being greener on the other side.

We always think we are being screwed and that the “other situation” is better then the one we are in. When we are single, we think it is better to be married, when we are married, we daydream about the freedom’s of the single life. And now I know for certain that it never ends. My conclusion...we will never be happy. Stay tuned for my next Blog entitled The Good, The Bad and Please Kill Me (Part Two)...Please Kill Me.